There’s a dangerous belief circulating in spiritual spaces, one that keeps people stuck in cycles of pain and trauma, instead of self-awareness and deeper levels of consciousness.
It goes something like this:
“If I’m suffering, there must be a reason. My soul chose this path for me. This pain is my fate.”
⚡ I hear this all the time. And I’m here to tell you: No. Not everything is planned.
You are not here in a preplanned board game that you have no say and no moves.
Fate, Free Will, and the Myth of “Chosen Suffering”
Yes, your soul has a path.
Yes, you come into this life with some things written and some available pathways and timelines.
Yes, there are potentials mapped out for you. Several and not at all limiting.
It is important to understand that your soul or a spiritual authority like God do not sit in the sky writing punishments into your destiny.
Or playing with your life to see how you are going to respond.
What your soul gives you are potentials for growth, not fixed scripts of suffering.
Life is a co-creation. That means your free will—and the free will of others—shapes the unfolding of your journey.
When you tell yourself your trauma is “fate,” you’re unconsciously agreeing to stay stuck in it. You’re handing your power over to pain, instead of reclaiming it.
The Real Difference: Trauma vs Soul Lessons
Let’s get clear:
- Trauma comes from unhealed wounds, toxic patterns, beliefs, and contracts (energetic or ancestral) that continue to run your life until you face and release them.
- Soul lessons are invitations to expand, to awaken, to step into greater awareness and sovereignty.
These are not the same thing. It is true that sometimes our lessons come in as harse and difficult situations that we are invited to overcome.
Yet, we can definitely learn through positive, amazing and expansive experiences that make us feel good.
The more we subscribe to the idea that trauma is something we need to go through in order to grow spiritualy the more we are trapped in having to experience traumatic situations.
At the same time, we shouldn’t demonize the unpleasant situations or traumatic experiences. The more they become a mystery in our lives the more we will be inviting them in.
When you confuse trauma with soul growth, you turn your wounds into prisons. You spiritualize suffering. And you keep yourself spinning in circles of pain.
Instead, work on healing your trauma so that you ground any lessons learnt and then you can move forward in a more self-loving and acceptance path.
Spiritual Growth Is Not Surrender to Everything
Spirituality is not about passively accepting every experience as “meant to be.”
It’s about discernment.
- What is true?
- What is mine?
- What needs to be released?
- What do I need to heal in myself in order to let this pattern go?
Sometimes what keeps you stuck isn’t divine design—it’s an unhealed part of your human system. Trauma running the show like an invisible script.
It is on you and your own free will to stop it from reccuring instead of accepting it as faith.
Break the Vicious Circle
The moment you stop calling your trauma “fate,” you break the spell.
- You begin to see where your free will, choices, and healing power come in.
- You start recognizing what belongs to you—and what never did.
- And you reclaim your right to create life from clarity, not from old wounds.
Calling trauma “fate” keeps you trapped.
Discerning truth from illusion sets you free.
So the next time you hear yourself saying “This must be my soul’s plan”—pause. Ask instead:
- Is this really my soul’s lesson?
- Or is it an old trauma pattern that I’m ready to release?
Because the difference will change everything.
You are making change happen. Your choices are at the root of whether you will stay in the same patterns or not.
Your choice!
